Posts Tagged ‘ frustration ’

Duo tone

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With eyes
Full of pride
And a heart
Full of ache,
Ears tired
Of the lies
And a tolerance
Sick of the pain,
That the wise
Think they hide
And the mannequins
Attempt to fake,
In her strength
She will ride
Every super natural
And cosmic wave,
No matter how wide
A yawn is still a sigh
Oh how close we resemble
The path that they’ve paved,
Issues put off to the side
Grow & tower like high tide
Increasing the volume in tremble
That no mere man is able to save,
The thought
Reaches my eyes
And I’m unable
To contain,
The tears
That reprise
My previous
Emotional state.
I want
What I consider mine
And hope that it becomes fait,
That breaks me out
Of what is shy
Rushes me into the needed
And finally takes me away.

on a zone

i can honestly say

im doing better than i deserve,

of course i want more

but that’s because my inside doesn’t care,

what IT takes

how much IT costs

i just want IT

im the boss,

of my reality

but my reality

isn’t in sync,

with what

im seeing

so now im starting to think,

i don’t like

this world

that im

living in,

no wonder

people resort

to drugs

by giving up thoughts that are going in….

ahhh (pt 3)

so as if i never left

IT comes back in a breathe,

i can feel IT deep down

inside of my chest,

right where my heart beats

so tender like a breast,

made for a baby

that’s where I feel best..

Good Lord Please

give me strength

& show me mercy,

ive been a knuckle head

who has occasionally

cursed thee,

I have no excuse

other than it’s because my flesh is unworthy,

I pray you over look/forgive

all asshole workings…

I would say dumb stuff

& then dip on out,

not fully understanding

I have the power of life or death coming out of my mouth,

so technically

ive been like a cheating spouse,

sticking it were I could put it

and not even (considering beforehand) caring about..

How the other feels

oh goodness, how I miss you,

here comes the tear storms

im going to need many a tissue,

I do all these things

because I got a heavy crop of issues,

once again not an excuse

just my long drawn out way of saying, I will never diss you..

but even that feels & sounds

so meaningless and obsolete,

I can stand up

leaving the dirt that’s on my knees,

hold out my hands

as if I can reach thee,

moan my hymn

that my soul wants to scream..

ahhh… ahh ah…..

ahhh, ahh, ah

ahhhhh…. …. … .. .

ahh ahh (pt2)

When I come-back again

my soul gets lost in a breath,

seeming soul-simple

like a 1-2 step,

but then again

it’s the hardest to get,

I have to be right on point

to align with all my vitamins..

but then once again

I get caught doing stupid ish,

showing no signs

of really wanting to ever quit,

which of course

doesn’t seem to official or legitament,

exiling my self as the black sheep

I might as well be counter fit,

Lord please

 forgive me for this,

& my getting pissed off

I hate I swinging, If continue to miss,

as if frustration is funny (which it is)

and you want me to be losing my wits,

I know you don’t, but I as soon as I recline

there I go once again, being tested,

(my soul) right now

doesn’t feel to ‘chilax’

I know your kisses

are supposed to put me in a trance to relax,

but right now

I can feel the devil on my back,

so please sprinkle me with some Blood of Jesus

so like crack/I can bounce RIGHT back

the sprinkles

covering me

wont alow me to speak

any more beyond

my feeling of weak,

so I moan & I moan

quite often in repeat:

ahhhh….

ahhh…

ahh..

ah.

.

testing

with my right hand to god, i love you i do

I just become soul frustrated with the things, that IT is, that i do

how can I be a man who’s always seeking THE truth

if i myself have doubts in the things that i do…

how can I be so weak to my flesh

& turn around & be angry, because you’re in a similar mess

sometimes my prayers feel like, their wishes at best

but I know that it’s just somebody putting me to the test

frustrating

the things that frustrate me
are the things that I want

especially if
I know that I should not

pursue said things
that are strictly to flaunt

boost ego
and get to the top,

but why not
have the things that satisfy

i figure as long
as i remain a stand up guy

then there can’t be
backlash if I don’t lie

but truth hurts
and that’s exactly the reason why,

there’s rolling of the eyes
by fast ones that judge

slurred words with quick draws
leaving a paint stained smudge

fueling the anger of participants
that are so ready to indulge

in a battle royal that both parties
already knowing the other wont budge,

so like knowledge to a sponge
you figure I would have soked up

all the sweet juices
that over flow but are never quite enough

to satisfy my thirst
just making the skin tough

to go up for an  another again
gone making up stuff,

that just makes a dunce
of how IT is I AM looking

running back and forth
zig zagging and jukeing

around the zombies I swore
i would avoid & be rebuking

now reclining back with them
after I thought I wouldnt,

thinking that I couldn’t
but I wanted to get ahead

hoping they were the connection
but their wheat didn’t produce bread

all they brought
were more scratching to the head

a confusing confusious
providing contradictions instead,

no puedo comprehend
its like another language

my attempt for something more
did nothing but damage

the current understanding
that took so long to salvage

now im trying seek the truth
in biblical passage,

so with no shortage
im strong and full of breathe

still trying to figure out
exactly what came in

it couldn’t be the religious mumbo jumbo
or could it

one way or another
I have a sudden boost of strength that I didn’t,

so with great length
and a whole lot of new

there is more sights sounds
& things I want to do

the balance of good & evil
are back in my view

the spirit is willing
so now the attitude is to,

after being softened with truth
totally understanding I am not

but preconceived notions
now can finally stop

it’s all starting to bubble

just a few seconds left till it pops

 what was frustrating before

has been distracted

so it finally stopped.

is this what i think IT is?

they say our eyes

are the windows

of the soul,

so when we cry

our insides

couldn’t hold back any more,

i try too hard to suppress IT

but i no longer

can control,

all the emotions

that i’m feeling

so please, please, don’t,

poke any fun

say anything

or ignore,

im not to sure

what i want

theres just confusion galore,

theres a couple of theories

i have yet tried

to explore,

all i know is

what ever i do

i do IT hardcore,

from scratching the surface

to blowing the hinges

off of the door,

i huff and i puff

until i suddenly

hit the floor…

with a blink

a snap

a pop,

im shooting

up to the sky

a million miles per hour and i cant stop,

the velocity that i’m gaining

is putting my heart

in a knot,

an endless journey

that keeps ON going

please hurry and reach the top,

don’t look down – don’t look down

oops i did

my stomach flopped,

i cant steer any longer

lord please keep me steady

and don’t let me drop,

all the power that i have

i’ve put

inside this box,

it may not look very big

but i assure you

IT’s a LOT,

IT’s my attention

my dedication

and connection of dots,

i’m hoping that you like IT

because IT’s everything

i got…

kinda- sorta

maybe sometimes

my personality will change,

into another character

i keep real close to me

at bay,

to jump INN

when the goings going

and the tough goes insane,

the same LIGHT is in focus

but i’m trying

a different aim,

i’m not of this WORLD

and i get bored

of the doing the same,

things that every one else

is getting a kick from

to me its lame,

you say your real honest

but i see you playing

the same game,

you think your really good

but we aren’t even

on the same lane,

my LOVE is freeway

that goes

where ever which way,

i’m trying to break your shell

but it seems like your not ready

to jump off of the train,

the past is the reason

and the past

is whats to blame,

so please looking into my soul

and tell me

you feel the same,

because if you dont

then we need not

and should not remain,

but if IT’s love

then we can

do the Damn Thang…