Posts Tagged ‘ feeling ’

Waiting to merge

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My predictions
Were correct
I felt
What I knew,
Like a subscription
To be filled
I waited anxious
For the news.

To be told
That its ready
But the call
Never came…
I saw the bottle
Fill up
Like heavy clouds
Teasing the desert with rain…

under construction

soon as i

 thought

i found iT

i find out

iT was never

in my sights,

i was never

trying

and my end

results

would showcase justly

why…

i thought

IT

was a sure bet

no assembly required

get iT

got iT

fine,

but nothing

is ever free

you have to want

iT

bad enough

to

die,

kill

all else

that does no good

what good is

iT

what good

is

mine,

is just

another

greedy way

but all iT does

is condense

and

hide,

what matters

most

and what really

shows

is the overflow

of the inside

pride,

you can bullshit

all you want

but ugliness

no make up

or article of clothing

can fully cover up

and

hide…

so go off

and hide away

dig deep inside

rip it out

and open wide,

this is

what iT is

to you

theres no explaining

light,

a blind man

can not see

so why even tease

with the thought

of

sight,

im currently

UnderConstruction

for the soon approaching

already been here

but iTs coming back again

#fight

A case of the F*** Its

I wouldn’t call it being

down in the dumps

if anything

ive had me the best of luck

caught fishes with out a net or a hook

but still my heart is struck

in a place I don’t understand

so naturally my mind is stuck

in between the months theme

which has been “I don’t give a mother f***”

which conflicts with my faith

which is to love and be there for everyone

high on just my self

and the weight is feeling like a ton

I can crawl into a ball

or just completely ignore everyone

isolation recently

has been the most fun

no one to bother me

except for those who don’t notice my mourning beard just to use me for what they want

which doesn’t bother me

since they’ll go away once their done

 I have energy for others to feed off of

but I have nothing to lift my self up

maybe its been because I havent been to church in a while

and the lack of spiritual people around me has left my edges rough

maybe it’s because I’ve been in the trenches with whores

and I’ve forgotten how to love

what ever it is I’ve caught a case of the “f*** its”

resisting the urge to tatoo a middle finger on my forehead is getting really tough

Dont Look Here

i cant be

every where at once

so where ever i go

i have to leave my mark,

sometimes

to seduce
sometimes

just to create a checkpoint

where i can restart,

feelings of the past

leave behind

and ahead

a guilty spark,

that can ignite

at any moment

choosing the time

is what becomes

the art..

 

a matador

never fights the bull

unless its

a little hurt and tired out,

the element

of surprise

leaves jaws open

uncovering the mouth,

that breathes in

all that i need

to some how

get you to shout,

in pain

from my void

that it creates

even more doubt..

 

you’ve combed

a cleaned out your house

but i tend to leave

tinier bread crumbs behind,

that blends into

the carpets the floors

your soul

your mind,

the heart

is easy to manipulate

because wounds heal

with time,

but they also

leave gaps

that reminisce

yearning for what is no longer thine…

 

in hopes that

reverse psychology

triggers your

anatomy,

touching

the same spots

i would when it was

just you and me,

whispering

the same words

that would set

your mind at ease,

is done not only

to appease

but to also

keep you at your knees…

 

give not

attention

to what isn’t

deserved,

what hurt

once before

will hurt

even worse,

the enemy

clings

to what isn’t

so for sure,

any doubt

and hope

can be used

to make you slur,

what ever lines

that may have

taken so long

to even paint and curve,

what goes up

must come down

hence how gravity

brings us down to earth…

where does the time go when life continues to roll

oh how the time passes

while my infamous of actions

drag slower than molasses

im forever sitting right in the middle of life’s lecturing classes

constantly wiping off the tears from my bifocal allure of glasses

that aggravation escalates and often violently trashes

the conclusion I was so close to finally grasping

what did I do to have Allah/Jahova damn iT

then all calms down once my face embraces cold water splashes

my high

ive been on this high

IT last as long as im on IT

but as soon as im off

IT feels like ive lost IT,

i gotta have you all the time

because IT simply can’t stop

the longest ive gone without IT is two days

but just one with no contact makes my heart drop

ITs funny how im so busy

i pray to be left alone

and the moment that IT happens

i cant stand to think/ my mind is gone

i need attention

so i can give IT

with out IT

i have no vision….

(soul) i see with what i feel

but right now i cant touch the walls

so im patting & im brushing

but this feeling isn’t coming off

goodness gracious

please don’t let me

come down,

i can feel

a head rush

and everything is spiraling down,

almost worried that im wrong

but im too consumed by how it feels right

like a moth to the flame im craving all the spot light

until gut checked & humbled & all i can do is embrace stage fright

my selfish ness

ignores my consciousness

all so my sloppy flesh

can be getting my high 

TheRush

a Rush is upon me

and I know not what to do

I have so much energy I can run

but I know not where to run to

im usually never like this

im usually on a slow cruise

some how my souls foot is on the gas pedal

& I just have to go vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooom…

a boom

a stamped

a ruckus

a noise,

is what

I want to make

then stand

in a glorious pose/poise,

if you ever

feel like I feel

please GET UP

and hear your inner voice,

ihope

that ITs GooD

but ultimately

its your choice

 

TheRush