Posts Tagged ‘ feeling ’
My predictions
Were correct
I felt
What I knew,
Like a subscription
To be filled
I waited anxious
For the news.
To be told
That its ready
But the call
Never came…
I saw the bottle
Fill up
Like heavy clouds
Teasing the desert with rain…
soon as i
thought
i found iT
i find out
iT was never
in my sights,
i was never
trying
and my end
results
would showcase justly
why…
i thought
IT
was a sure bet
no assembly required
get iT
got iT
fine,
but nothing
is ever free
you have to want
iT
bad enough
to
die,
kill
all else
that does no good
what good is
iT
what good
is
mine,
is just
another
greedy way
but all iT does
is condense
and
hide,
what matters
most
and what really
shows
is the overflow
of the inside
pride,
you can bullshit
all you want
but ugliness
no make up
or article of clothing
can fully cover up
and
hide…
so go off
and hide away
dig deep inside
rip it out
and open wide,
this is
what iT is
to you
theres no explaining
light,
a blind man
can not see
so why even tease
with the thought
of
sight,
im currently
UnderConstruction
for the soon approaching
already been here
but iTs coming back again
#fight
I wouldn’t call it being
down in the dumps
if anything
ive had me the best of luck
caught fishes with out a net or a hook
but still my heart is struck
in a place I don’t understand
so naturally my mind is stuck
in between the months theme
which has been “I don’t give a mother f***”
which conflicts with my faith
which is to love and be there for everyone
high on just my self
and the weight is feeling like a ton
I can crawl into a ball
or just completely ignore everyone
isolation recently
has been the most fun
no one to bother me
except for those who don’t notice my mourning beard just to use me for what they want
which doesn’t bother me
since they’ll go away once their done
I have energy for others to feed off of
but I have nothing to lift my self up
maybe its been because I havent been to church in a while
and the lack of spiritual people around me has left my edges rough
maybe it’s because I’ve been in the trenches with whores
and I’ve forgotten how to love
what ever it is I’ve caught a case of the “f*** its”
resisting the urge to tatoo a middle finger on my forehead is getting really tough
i cant be
every where at once
so where ever i go
i have to leave my mark,
sometimes
to seduce
sometimes
just to create a checkpoint
where i can restart,
feelings of the past
leave behind
and ahead
a guilty spark,
that can ignite
at any moment
choosing the time
is what becomes
the art..
a matador
never fights the bull
unless its
a little hurt and tired out,
the element
of surprise
leaves jaws open
uncovering the mouth,
that breathes in
all that i need
to some how
get you to shout,
in pain
from my void
that it creates
even more doubt..
you’ve combed
a cleaned out your house
but i tend to leave
tinier bread crumbs behind,
that blends into
the carpets the floors
your soul
your mind,
the heart
is easy to manipulate
because wounds heal
with time,
but they also
leave gaps
that reminisce
yearning for what is no longer thine…
in hopes that
reverse psychology
triggers your
anatomy,
touching
the same spots
i would when it was
just you and me,
whispering
the same words
that would set
your mind at ease,
is done not only
to appease
but to also
keep you at your knees…
give not
attention
to what isn’t
deserved,
what hurt
once before
will hurt
even worse,
the enemy
clings
to what isn’t
so for sure,
any doubt
and hope
can be used
to make you slur,
what ever lines
that may have
taken so long
to even paint and curve,
what goes up
must come down
hence how gravity
brings us down to earth…
oh how the time passes
while my infamous of actions
drag slower than molasses
im forever sitting right in the middle of life’s lecturing classes
constantly wiping off the tears from my bifocal allure of glasses
that aggravation escalates and often violently trashes
the conclusion I was so close to finally grasping
what did I do to have Allah/Jahova damn iT
then all calms down once my face embraces cold water splashes
ive been on this high
IT last as long as im on IT
but as soon as im off
IT feels like ive lost IT,
i gotta have you all the time
because IT simply can’t stop
the longest ive gone without IT is two days
but just one with no contact makes my heart drop
ITs funny how im so busy
i pray to be left alone
and the moment that IT happens
i cant stand to think/ my mind is gone
i need attention
so i can give IT
with out IT
i have no vision….
(soul) i see with what i feel
but right now i cant touch the walls
so im patting & im brushing
but this feeling isn’t coming off
goodness gracious
please don’t let me
come down,
i can feel
a head rush
and everything is spiraling down,
almost worried that im wrong
but im too consumed by how it feels right
like a moth to the flame im craving all the spot light
until gut checked & humbled & all i can do is embrace stage fright
my selfish ness
ignores my consciousness
all so my sloppy flesh
can be getting my high
a Rush is upon me
and I know not what to do
I have so much energy I can run
but I know not where to run to
im usually never like this
im usually on a slow cruise
some how my souls foot is on the gas pedal
& I just have to go vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooom…
a boom
a stamped
a ruckus
a noise,
is what
I want to make
then stand
in a glorious pose/poise,
if you ever
feel like I feel
please GET UP
and hear your inner voice,
ihope
that ITs GooD
but ultimately
its your choice
TheRush
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quote of the day