Posts Tagged ‘ confession ’

In Your Dreams

Think things…

Believe them…

who can take it away?

when your playing pretend…

Doll,

I am

a mad man…

I just need

a little push

to get me off the deep end…

This is where

I can be my silliest,

but it has to be

in secret..

Not everyone

is privileged

to see

iT…

My feet in concrete

and I’m

sinkin’…

Saying things

in calculated contrary

to how you may be thinkin’…

so please,

push me away

!I NEED IT!

Hey…

hey…

hey…

hey…

there’s something I don’t want to, but I need to say…

I’ve been stuck

on you

in a very berry-bananna/pinapple-cherry

sort of way,

something like

all my favorite fruity flavors

blended in

and im slowly sipping away,

I’m not a Facebook troll

but my mouse

oh (Lord) how it scrolls

all the live long day,

going through out

your photos and your main time line page

wanting to “like” everything

that the digital you,  lays…

me not wanting

to cling too munch

pushes that thought

right out the way…

No one is too shy

to call you beautiful

so flattery

is just way too gay,

but oh my Deity how your every pose

intrigues

and puts a caption on my heart

in a very strong way…

My Dear, you Damn near

make me choke

on my own coffee

burning my tongue,

wishing the difference

between you &  I

weren’t so many and close between

like a tickle in my throat escalating to my lung,

having an effect

on my speech

making a man with nerves of steel

feel very nervous & high-strung,

knowing I can’t entice you

with dedication

and promises of strength

hung,

oh how you rung

my bell

and I want you

to keep on ringing,

what this hunch back

of notre dame

has been training for

and waiting,

damsel of the tower

leap off

I have my arms

open

for saving,

but that

flag

you don’t seem

to be waiving…

so what

on earth

can I do

today?

besides

makes references

in a very

dorky way,

and spill out

my obession

in a nursery rhyme

poem format sort of way,

I guess

nothing much

but say

 hey

Our Outlet

20120326-060655.jpg
Not so random
Calls
& not so random
Text,
Are assured
When you confirm
Your now living
With your next,
Which will make it
A bit harder to sneak around
I love a challenge
But is this a warning or a test?
To let my gorilla grip go
And truly truly
Play the role
Of the gone far away forgotten ex.
How can you speak
To him of love
Future/marriage
And some kids,
Then call me right up
Soon as he’s turned away
In the bed/strictly
For the company of sex,
While I don’t mind
I want mine
And I love hearing you sing
“you the best”,
Its that lonely
drive back
That has me feeling
Something in my chest,
Is it remorse
Is it hurt
Or the realization that
The dog never rests,
Is this possibly
Keeping me away
From something real
And finally building my nest,
But then I worry
Contemplating
Over thinking
With a cold helping side of stress,
That karma
Will show her fangs
As soon as I
Fall in love again.
Should we stop
It’s so good
And all I do
Is continue to repeat selfish benefit,
Is IT missing
Am I tired
Do i now
need IT,
I’m in that
State of mind
Where The search for truth
I soon forget,
Love is quickly
Manipulated
By Our on going
Climax mind blowing Outlet.
I went from
Holding the leash
To letting you go
To be the pet,
Else where I fear
To label once again
Since you do us
With no regret,
I’m inside you
While you lie to
He who’s loves you
Knows not, Lord Jesus,
Forgive me
For feeling
So entitled
To what I deleted,
I’ve been living
Too good
Is pay back
Taking its time to pay like a check?
So I choose To be alone
So I can’t get hurt
From sticking a fork
In to the electrical outlet,
Maybe it’s the shock
I need
To shake my demons
And finally let,
Good
Righteous
Blessings
Be something I give not just kept,
I don’t know
I really don’t
Killer please kill me
So I can be SoulPapo again

what im trying not to do

 

what I aim to do

and my end result

seem to be

two different things,

what my heart wants

and my body gets

hardly ever falls

into the in between,

over the edge

way across

over the fence

it seems to lean,

scared of where

the ball will bounce

keeps me on call

scared to leave,

so like an addict

once I catch a whiff

my senses lock

and I tend to cling,

my heart goes blind

my mind rewinds

my body’s numb

and I feel not a thing,

so as if an option

I bob my head to opt in

an engagement

I have no way of controlling,

I go with the wind

slip streaming once momentum begins

not landing where I calculate

but getting where is needed

then the end

What we see depends mainly on what we look for

im very much

the type

to wear

my heart

on my sleeve,

but im also

very capable

of endorsing

emotions with a

giant sign that reads

no vacancy,

the route

in which

I take

all depends

on what I seek,

if I want iT

I’ll go out

running naked

if not

sheltered

is what

iT will be,

I get

quite confused

with the multiple

of things

that I think and see,

is this right here

ment for fun

or that right there

ment for longevity,

am I really

this much

in control

or am I

being filled

with a

transparency,

that the other

is just going

along with

getting a

good laugh

at me,

look at how

harsh

paranoia

can be

fairest of them all

I can’t even look at you

because if I do

I’ll just stare,

you’re so painstakingly

beautiful

it is truly unfair,

how much of an effect

you have over me

& your totally unaware,

of  how different I AM

when im not blinded by

a goddesses glare.

in my heart I want to plead:

my lady dear

please be with me,

I promise thee

a mache speed dose of

overflowing lovin’,

that goes

way beyond

 the borders &/or edges of infinity,

 if you open

to me your heart

I promise

to build more than a bridge,

more than some thing

to somewhere

your feelings wont

be suppressed or held hostage,

I’ll hold you

forever close

and never ever

let you go,

unless

you want to leave

then I can’t do much

other than let you row your own boat,

 So my dear

please

take my challenge

please take my dare,

to give

love a chance

& forget the

other eyes that stare,

what happen before with the others

is in the past

so to hold me to that

just isn’t fair,

we fit

so good together

as im sure

you are aware