Posts Tagged ‘ church ’

Stir Crazy Prayer

Some things
Are way beyond our belief.

We aren’t meant
To understand.

But it’s
That very thing

That over drives
my mind

And makes
The hatter

I went to church
In hopes
some sort
of clarity,

I fell asleep
awaking in time
To hear
All that
I am guilty

I really
want to
too much,

Especially since
I fear it’ll push

I can’t
My own

And I
What I shouldn’t.

Going against
All that I believe,

Even after
I swore
That I

In Life


we are

an image

 of our creator


 are we so evil?

Is it the world

whose space age


has somehow

broken through

the filter…

opposites attract

there can’t be dark

without no light

and you can’t feel empty


 some sort of filler…


are with the soul

of an angel

and there are those

hunting with the instincts

of a killer…


are “blessed” with both

at the same time


the destination

of the



 whats meant to be

what happens accidentally

and who forcibly

 pulls the trigger?

I suppose

this book

this passage

wouldn’t be entertaining

if it wasnt

a thriller

Still Soul Thirsty

iT pants


iT pants




quenches  thirst?

one tries

to make

minor changes

but iT


only makes things



when giving others


but iT drains


like a drink on its last slurp,

is this that


to the yin

of being gifted

with a curse,

is not

the medic

service intended

to heal


to nurse?

to give a slap

across the ass


to get out there

and work,

your faith

has made you


so go on


show off

your worth,

like gills

that have gone


breathing iT

makes iT




that completes

giving an understanding

beyond a simple soft serve,

woe to how hard iT is

when the body is full

and iTs only

your soul



A case of the F*** Its

I wouldn’t call it being

down in the dumps

if anything

ive had me the best of luck

caught fishes with out a net or a hook

but still my heart is struck

in a place I don’t understand

so naturally my mind is stuck

in between the months theme

which has been “I don’t give a mother f***”

which conflicts with my faith

which is to love and be there for everyone

high on just my self

and the weight is feeling like a ton

I can crawl into a ball

or just completely ignore everyone

isolation recently

has been the most fun

no one to bother me

except for those who don’t notice my mourning beard just to use me for what they want

which doesn’t bother me

since they’ll go away once their done

 I have energy for others to feed off of

but I have nothing to lift my self up

maybe its been because I havent been to church in a while

and the lack of spiritual people around me has left my edges rough

maybe it’s because I’ve been in the trenches with whores

and I’ve forgotten how to love

what ever it is I’ve caught a case of the “f*** its”

resisting the urge to tatoo a middle finger on my forehead is getting really tough


there isn’t too much space to grow

when your trapped inside of the box,

I wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable

if there wasnt so many locks,

im sure it’s for my own safety

like the recommendation of shoes to go over your socks,

but sometimes it feels good to feel

the rough edges of the rocks,

so I can remember once again

why I even decided to drop,

the habits that made me a savage

some need discipline , some just can’t stop


immediate family

I have none,

other than a woman who birthed me

& a sister who shares the same blood,

every blue moon  & or eclipse

there is a small fragment of love,

that some how is shown through all

the violent assaults & vast array of lashing tongues.

why they care for me

in such ways

I havent

a clue,

they don’t enjoy

my company & mannerisms

claiming its has

an attitude (a reminder of missing piece from two),

I call it authority

in which they need

since we all were

dissolved from the glue,

that held us all


as a single unit

& as a properly working crew.

the father in which

I hold very dear

I don’t contact

because I don’t want to bother,

him since he has

a new family

that doesn’t like the sight

of his previous product,

which in hine sight

doesn’t offend me

since im grown & out

of the usual suspects round-up..

but I am sadly


of how important

is that missing key,

when I see outside

family’s together

not all the 100% ecstatic

but at the least functioning,


has to steer

some has to

man the steed,

no one

can calm you down

like your know how

your rock your rules/meaning..

free will was given us to

acting a fool

is our birth right,

but with out

rules and regulation

we’ll get lost in it like the night,

I tilt my hat to the fathers

who stick it through

the fussing & fights,

so that like a sculptor shapes

may the creations

have the form to get IT right

for the physical family

that is missing

the warmth of God is all that’s needed,

when you have

nothing else

how hard is that to believe in?