iTried

As the ‘Pun saying goes

“I’m not a player

I just

crush a lot”,

and that’s only because

my heart

used to

get crushed a lot,

at first

fulfilling a void

that I thought

would surely fill and stop,

but it never did

because

that isn’t what

loves all about,

after meeting

a girl

who is beautiful

and bold,

who spoke out loud

of GOD

which naturally

tickled my soul,

gave me love

and brought me warmth

like eating chicken soup

when the outside is winter cold,

giving me

even more reason

to let go of ego

so that I can hold,

her

and only her

so I made it honest

and attached,

made it into

a relationship

since it all happened

so very fast,

she gave me

her body and her soul

before we ever

did the math,

hoping maybe

we’re on that “meant to be”

since we perfectly matched

but I jumped the gun committed and dealt rash,

with the others

who would

keep me company

on nights I’d be alone,

not responding

to their calls

or the text messages

that’d reach my phone,

I was keen

on being the good guy

so I told them

that I can’t, because it was wrong,

which rustled

a few feathers

since that’s what they

wanted all along,

the label

the status

of being in

a relationship,

that I honestly

never liked

but for some reason

this one really fit,

when it came

to our communicating

I’d go out of my way

just so that I could reply quick,

so eager

for her response

I felt like

a little kid,

the “lady friends”

of my past

were upset

I took the plunge,

for something

that with them

I had no

interest of,

I might have been

a little guilt ridden

since this girl

in her past had often been used up,

by guys

playing on her emotions 

with the basic mission

of busting a nut,

which in one stance

because of her ease and beauty

I would have also

been happy with,

I could have just as easily dined and dashed

but we connected so well

we both agreed

we didn’t want to call it quits,

but then

soon after

the layers peel and reveal

off with,

the truths

you uncover with time

bases you cover and habits

that might make you go bat shit…

now see, normally

im the type

to hang back

and wait for one to make the first move,

but I felt entitled

since this girl

seemed so smitten

by all that I do,

I tried

to do everything

that my previous’s

claimed I wouldn’t do,

texted and called

every chance I didn’t have

for pointless hello’s

to clingy “hey how do you do’s”,

I then

realized

me and her

are both so a like,

she couldn’t

handle the pressure

of having to be there

every moment (when I called) when she just wanted her alone time,

which she

hardly ever had

since she is awfully used by her sisters

like cinderella in real life,

I laugh

at my self

because I was so willing

to change and put down my own ways of life,

to accommodate

for another

who didn’t bother (or at least from what I noticed)

but hey, at least I tried,

right?

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  1. If you never give it a try…you’ll never know the real you and what you need…good poem on that point.

  2. long poem,

    very deep thoughts, Glad to see that you can help her.

    • Kay Salady
    • November 22nd, 2011

    right

    Nice poem. It’s like you and your conscience talking to one another. I really liked this piece.

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