In Search Of

IN SEARCH OF

IN SEARCH OF

*i use to

search

with out a reason

or a clue,

*now i search

just because

its something

to do.

-As if i had

a moment

to my self

to think & breathe,

-i seek

to feed,

the notion

of need,

-but

there is none

stuck in between,

a “Do Nothing Bitch”

& the one who enables the greed..

*I AM

no one to talk

I AM

as selfish as SIN,

*with the willingness

to fix

but none such eagerness

to begin.

-i cant

make decisions

for others..

*I’m hardly content

with the decisions

I’ve made for my self…

-i just pray

for love

to bless

every lover..

*and hope

they’re not only

concerned about the eyes watching

which is only for themselves…

I’m fat because I love cake 

 

I’m not 

a man

Of obsessive 
material
Riches. 
That isn’t 
My aim
Nor does it
Manipulate 
Any of 
My well wishes. 
The serpent 
And the dove
Get along Well
Without the kitten. 
But her 
Tiny brushes 
Of disregard 
Will instantly throw my 
Curiosity into submission. 
Forgive my stare
I
Can’t
Quit!………
I don’t have iT 
In me
Like my daddy
Whose religious drinking
Was that of a fish…
Thirst costumes 
In
Desert playgrounds
While Trouble follows & lures
W/vicious Sirens….
Bells & whistles 
Aren’t for the deaf,
Glorious idols & images 
Also aren’t for those w/visions…
We see 
What we
Truly
Want to see.  
From the far glare
Of the sun
To the deep 
Abyss of the sea. 
What lives
In our hearts 
Reflects
In our free speech. 
May The Lord
Forgive me
For the shit repeated
In my rambling….

Killing me softly 

 
 I never meant 

To hurt the princess
If anything 
I wanted to protect. 
How can you save 
Someone from your self 
Other than to subtract 
Yourself from said concept?
I’m far too selfish
For that,
In which this jagged pill
Is hard to swallow & accept. 
I reek my Havok in silence 
While fighting the wrongs 
exposed 
Until there’re all correct. 
But it seems like
We’ve come a little too far
And thus
We’re at a disconnect. 
Know 
that I love you,
My disease or sorrow 
I never meant to infect…

Mama plz

  

Mama

All that I want
Is to play in the garden 
Of your warmth 
And your love,
Run through the lilies 
Making wishes
Off of the daisies
While Escaping the sun, 
Then once I’m done
And I’ve had me 
My little bit
Of fun,
I can be calm 
In my loneliness
Until my heart & cravings
Can no longer carry 
By the tons.  

Messiah Complex



-I want you

To gravel 
On your knees. 
-the only words
Out of your mouth 
Should be,
-yes, more
(And) pretty
Pretty please. 
-although
I need you to beg
I admittedly am the fiend. 
-I crave like i age 
In that
I can’t do a thing. 
-but take 
Everything 
That I need. 
vis-à-vis

Unfortunately,

-What lingers 
In the way
Besides 
Your compliance
Are the inconvenient articles of clothing. 

-which although
Are all the more alluring
I don’t need them to be. 

-I want them off,
Now,
Listen to me…

  



Where iT goes

It breaks my heart,

How her flesh

Screams to me,

Bringing out a side

Of me,

I don’t want to be.

I’ve suppressed enough..

Oh woe!

How my urge

Begs to be sink it’s teeth!

If only

For a moment,

So that iT

Can be free…

My satisfaction

Although,

Is never ending…

All iT needs

Is a taste

So that it can cease & desist

It’s terrible

Curiosity…

Now back

In the darkness

iT hides

In iT’s

recluse,

labyrinth.

Focus, focus pocus

 

From 321

From 321

It’s so fuzzy

I can’t

really

tell.

What’s going on

Over
here.

And

Over
there.

What’s the distance
from
The light

To where

Sight can see

&

Hearts can yell.

Still be heard

And Saved

Before intentions

Set
for fail.

Why would they go
That way?

That,

I really

Can’t

Tell.

I’ve figured out

Some Patterns

But other than that

I don’t know my self

well.
Well enough

That is,

To escape

My minds hell…